As the above video demonstrates, the reason it’s so hard to feel our emotions the way they need us to is because of a glitch in our brains that developed through the course of evolution.
One part of our brains—the limbic system—generates a challenging emotion for us to feel. Another part of our brain—called either primitive or reptilian—considers that emotion as life-threatening and blocks it at all cost. This battle between the two parts of our brain leaves us cross-wired and stuck.
It can also create great stress and even illness. And the problems don’t end there. An unfelt feeling can’t and doesn’t go away. Instead it lodges in our bodies as well as our unconscious. As a part of our unconscious, an unfelt feeling’s mission becomes getting noticed. It has a particularly diabolical way to do so, which is to act like a magnet, drawing into our lives the people and situations that will cause us to feel that very feeling that our primitive brain blocked in the first place.
One part of our brains—the limbic system—generates a challenging emotion for us to feel. Another part of our brain—called either primitive or reptilian—considers that emotion as life-threatening and blocks it at all cost.
What this means—pay special attention here—is that the cause of harmful patterns in our lives is unfelt emotion. Whether it’s the same type of relationship happening over and over, or a recurring trigger at work, unfelt emotions are at play.
The longer these emotions remain unfelt, the more intense the backlash. Of particular note are depression and anxiety.
In addition, it’s actually impossible for the primitive brain to block all the old emotions from seeping through, as well as the new ones that get magnetized. To fend these emotions off, the primitive brain calls in reinforcements. Its most powerful allies are addictions and compulsions. If addictions and compulsions worked, without the painful and debilitating “side-effects,” we’d all be fine. Unfortunately, that isn’t the case.
The good news is that all of this can be reversed. The primitive brain can update, coming to see that challenging emotions aren’t life threatening. Therefore, when they come again, either via our existing backlog or new occurrences, the primitive brain doesn’t shut the whole feeling process as long or as hard. We’re able to heal, reharmonize, and live life to our full potential.
The cause of harmful patterns in our lives is unfelt emotions.
How? There’s only one way—emotional connection.